Perfectionism: 3 Behaviors That Will Keep You Stuck

Happy Friday! Today I have a new video to share with you regarding perfectionism and how, when left unchecked, it can steal so much of our joy. I’ll touch on three behaviors that I have found to be self-sabotaging, time and time again, causing me to lose precious inspiration, momentum, and motivation.

Check it out and if you can relate, please leave your thoughts in the comments.

If you’d like to be part of an empowering, solution-focused recovery community, you can request to be added to my closed Facebook group, Rock and Recovery with Heidi Le. Here’s how:

1) Find my administrative account profile on Facebook here
2) Send a friend request AND
3) Send an inbox message, “add me.”
When I receive your message, you will be added to the group. You’ll have access to recovery content, great discussion, and a supportive community of like-minded friends. Click the link above to be directed to the Heidi Le Tribe administrative account OR search “Heidi Le Tribe” on Facebook.

May your recovery be rockin’ today!
~Heidi

For more info, including my new book and album
Confessions of the Broken, visit:
HeidiLeMusic.com

Twelve Step Tuesday: Step Twelve

twelve step tuesday4

Twelve Step Tuesday: an opportunity to reflect on one of the steps and share our experiences or thoughts. This week we are on Step Twelve:

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

*In addition to “alcoholics” we can share the message of hope and recovery with those suffering with the emotional and spiritual sickness of codependency and any other type of addiction/compulsion.

There are so many truths and facets to reflect on, regarding each Step, and I feel like this one definitely has a lot that could be unpacked. So today, I’ll just share a bit about how the Twelve Steps brought about a spiritual awakening in my life – as someone who already had a very personal relationship with God.

My experience working the Steps brought a depth and practicality to my relationship with God that was lacking when I was relating to Him through the brokenness of my codependent thinking. Previously, my mind was consumed with what other people were doing and thinking and naturally, my emotions followed. My prayer life even reflected my desire for God to change others, because I was oblivious to how much change was needed within myself. Here are just a few blind-spots I had been living with and some “ah-ha” experiences:

I thought that being a Christian meant being a doormat. However, I was resentful as a result of never standing up for myself and due to my lack of healthy boundaries. I didn’t know how to forgive. I didn’t know how to let go and let God.

Through the process of the Twelve Steps, I learned the value of really owning my resentments, hurts, and fears so that I could authentically and more fully surrender them to God for healing. I learned the incredible freedom that comes from owning my part in all relational messes, to the best of my ability, and making amends. I learned how wonderful it is to live in a way that I don’t have to make amends! Occasionally I go a whole day succeeding at that!

I learned in the rooms of recovery that everyone has the right to process and share from their own perspective – when I want to change someone’s thinking, I recognize that my compulsion to “fix” others is a symptom of my own codependency. I learned that I do not have to be the Holy Spirit or God in anyone’s life. I’ve learned that surely there is enough in my own life and heart that I can join Him in working on…and that He is much more capable than I am to work in the hearts and mind of others. I’ve learned that “no” is a complete sentence and that life in recovery is the most fulfilling and balanced for me when I’m able to follow the prompting of the Spirit to say “yes” and “no” as He leads – to go when He says go; to stay when he says stay; to be willing to serve others and to sometimes allow others to do what they CAN DO for themselves. I’ve learned to value the discernment He gives me; to watch for red flags and proceed with caution; to look for green lights and proceed with faith and faithfulness.

During these past several years, the Twelve Steps have become a treasured part of my spiritual life and I’m so very thankful for them, and for so many wonderful people in the recovery community. As a result of these experiences, one of the ways I make myself available to “carry the message” to others who are hurting is through a book and album I wrote out of my journey through the Twelve Steps. It is entitled Confessions of the Broken…the music is blues/rock/gospel and the book tells the stories behind the songs and ultimately, my story of recovery from the soul-sickness and family disease of codependency. Please see my website below, if you are interested in the book or album.

As for this post on Step Twelve, I’d love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to share in the comments or if you’d like to be part of an empowering, solution-focused recovery community, you can request to be added to my closed Facebook group, Rock and Recovery with Heidi Le. Here’s how:

1) Find my administrative account profile on Facebook here
2) Send a friend request AND
3) Send an inbox message, “add me.”
When I receive your message, you will be added to the group. You’ll have access to recovery content, great discussion, and a supportive community of like-minded friends. Click the link above to be directed to the Heidi Le Tribe administrative account OR search “Heidi Le Tribe” on Facebook.

May your recovery be rockin’ today!
~Heidi

For more info, including my new book and album
Confessions of the Broken, visit:
HeidiLeMusic.com

 

Embracing Imperfection

Meditation Monday: The Freedom to Let Go of Anything Heavy or Dark

meditation monday cropped

Meditation Monday: a reminder to detach and disentangle ourselves from our thoughts and feelings, in order to be a more objective observer of them. Then we can respond with a quiet confidence, rather than reacting out of feeling triggered. 

Today I was thinking about how freeing it has been to notice anything in my life that feels heavy and let those things go. I’ve found that there are really very few things we have to keep doing once they start to feel dark or heavy. In my codependency, a weird underlying belief I had was that I just had to stick in there with circrumstances or relationships forever, even when they were no longer bringing joy into my life. So, I stayed too long in ministries, work places, and friendships that were no longer GOOD, EXCELLENT, LIFE-GIVING, JOY-INSPIRING. 

In recovery, those words I just mentioned are my new standard and anything that is incongruent with those descriptions is likely to be let go. Do you have anything in your life that you might like to look at and at least consider letting go? Anything that feels heavy or dark? Something you’ve volunteered for that is no longer a fit? A negative friend that pulls you down much more often that you succeed in lifting them up? A hobby that used to be fun and now feels like an obligation? Even a household chore that is really a beatdown that you could outsource and put your energy toward something more joyful?

Love to hear your shares today! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or if you’d like to be part of an empowering, solution-focused recovery community, you can request to be added to my closed Facebook group, Rock and Recovery with Heidi Le. Here’s how:

1) Find my administrative account profile on Facebook here
2) Send a friend request AND
3) Send an inbox message, “add me.”
When I receive your message, you will be added to the group. You’ll have access to recovery content, great discussion, and a supportive community of like-minded friends. Click the link above to be directed to the Heidi Le Tribe administrative account OR search “Heidi Le Tribe” on Facebook.

May your Monday be meditative and your recovery be rockin’ today!
~Heidi

For more info, including my new book and album
Confessions of the Broken, visit:
HeidiLeMusic.com

Self Care Saturday: It Only Takes a Few Minutes to Recharge

self care sat to cropSelf Care Saturday: A reminder that we all need a few hours – or even just moments – of self care in order to recharge. I find it funny that I created this photo (above) as our Self Care Saturday mascot and most Saturdays in our online recovery support group, I wind up posting a photo that looks like this:

IMG_7642.JPGSometimes I really change it up by sharing the view with my dog, Happy, and her hilarious ears:

IMG_7567But basically, I’ve realized that all my Self Care Saturday posts involve trees, coffee, and quiet.

It really doesn’t take much (of the right thing) to help refill and recharge us, especially if we take these moments regularly. So, how about you? What are you doing today to rest and let yourself be refilled?

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or if you’d like to be part of an empowering, solution-focused recovery community, you can request to be added to my closed Facebook group, Rock and Recovery with Heidi Le. Here’s how:

1) Find my administrative account profile on Facebook here
2) Send a friend request AND
3) Send an inbox message, “add me.”
When I receive your message, you will be added to the group. You’ll have access to recovery content, great discussion, and a supportive community of like-minded friends. Click the link above to be directed to the Heidi Le Tribe administrative account OR search “Heidi Le Tribe” on Facebook.

May your Saturday be filled with self-care and your recovery be rockin’ today!
~Heidi

For more info, including my new book and album
Confessions of the Broken, visit:
HeidiLeMusic.com

Future Friday: God, Please Heal Our Land

future fri blog headerFuture Friday is typically about vision, on a personal level in our lives. That is, where we are believing for and hoping for good things that God has in store for us to come to fruition – in the form of career, family, service opportunities, or any kind of good thing He has planned for us.

Today, I had a broader perspective, on our nation as a whole and our need for healing. This morning, the first notification I saw on my phone was that of another school shooting. So on this Future Friday, my hope is that someday we’ll be able to heal the spiritual and emotional sickness behind all of these senseless, life-stealing incidents. The shooting today was in Santa Fe, TX, with 10 fatalities reported so far. Let’s be praying for those parents and families. I can’t imagine the devastation or how a parent recovers from that. They will certainly need supernatural comfort. They will eventually need the kind of forgiveness that only the Holy Spirit can supply, to flow though them to the attacker so that resentment doesn’t steal even more from them than they’ve already lost. The spiritual and emotional journey that kind of forgiving would require….I honestly can not comprehend it.

So, when we don’t know what else to do, let’s pray – for the families, the surviving students and teachers, our nation and its leaders. And for wisdom that we WILL know what to do to stop this epidemic and that we will have the courage and compassion to take action. As with all healing, personal and on the community level, we have to be willing to join God in the process. Just like in our personal lives, we have to do more than pray for healing and then just wait for it to fall from heaven. It’s more like treating cancer – we have to be willing to join Him in the fight for our healing, whatever that may look like.

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or if you’d like to be part of an empowering, solution-focused recovery community, you can request to be added to my closed Facebook group, Rock and Recovery with Heidi Le. Here’s how:

1) Find my administrative account profile on Facebook here
2) Send a friend request AND
3) Send an inbox message, “add me.”
When I receive your message, you will be added to the group. You’ll have access to recovery content, great discussion, and a supportive community of like-minded friends. Click the link above to be directed to the Heidi Le Tribe administrative account OR search “Heidi Le Tribe” on Facebook.

May your Friday be filled with hope for the future and your recovery be rockin’ today!
~Heidi

For more info, including my new book and album
Confessions of the Broken, visit:
HeidiLeMusic.com

Thanksgiving Thursday: Extreme Gratitude Challenge

thanksgiving thursday

Thanksgiving Thursday: what are you thankful for today? Anything big or small – it gives God glory when we thank him for ALL He has done for us.

I shared yesterday that in a season where I’ve been asking God about the specifics of my assignment in my work life, He spoke to me in a way that really simplified things – in all that I do, each day, do it in an attitude of love and gratitude. As I’ve said lots of times about gratitude, I don’t think we experience all the joy there is to be experienced when we are just passively thankful . . . a “yeah I’m a thankful person” kind of a thing. 

So I really took this word from Him to heart and have, to the best of my ability, chosen to be very actively thankful (and to think and act from a place of love) every moment of the day. It’s mental work, y’all. But practically, when I was making my bed, I chose to give thanks, “Thank you that we can afford a good mattress that supports my back and has helped Ryan’s shoulder pain go away.” And as I did each subsequent thing I thanked Him for my animals, that they are healthy and such sweet companions, that it was nice out this morning, and for the hummingbird that I saw. I am thankful for our online recovery group we have here to share encouragement with one another. I’m thankful I get to visit with my dad this evening.

So far, it’s made a huge difference in my overall attitude, contentment and peace. It has given me much more grace for frustrating things that come up…mostly 😉 Anyway, so this is super simple, yet surprisingly challenging to keep up for a whole day. I encourage you to try it! It can only make your day more awesome! And if you goof…like saaaaaayyy….you cuss out a battery that’s not fitting in its battery hole thingie….hypothetically….just get back in integrity with God and your self about your less-than-magical attitude and pick up from there. That’s what I may or may not have done like 10 minutes ago and it still works when you just start again as needed.

Please share what you are thankful for today so we can celebrate with you. And if you try my Extreme Gratitude Challenge – I just made that up – let us know how it works for you!! Feel free to share in the comments or if you’d like to be part of an empowering, solution-focused recovery community, you can request to be added to my closed Facebook group, Rock and Recovery with Heidi Le. Here’s how:

1) Find my administrative account profile on Facebook here
2) Send a friend request AND
3) Send an inbox message, “add me.”
When I receive your message, you will be added to the group. You’ll have access to recovery content, great discussion, and a supportive community of like-minded friends. Click the link above to be directed to the Heidi Le Tribe administrative account OR search “Heidi Le Tribe” on Facebook.

May your Thursday be thankful and your recovery be rockin’ today!
~Heidi

For more info, including my new book and album
Confessions of the Broken, visit:
HeidiLeMusic.com

Awareness Wednesday: Love and Gratitude

awareness wednesday

Awareness Wednesday: an opportunity to reflect on and share something new we’ve become aware of in our recovery, our thinking, or our journey in general. The Holy Spirit is always at work and if we are listening, he will give us little nuggets of truth and insight along the way. I’ll share mine here and would love for you to share yours with us in the comments or by joining my Facebook recovery group . . .

In a time when I have been asking God for specifics about what he wants me to doooooo, he has mostly been telling me to slow my roll and BE. My ego and the “producer” in me struggles with that. What I have become aware of just this week is that my assignment EVERY DAY is to do anything and everything I do from a place of 1) love and 2) gratitude. So if you’re in a place of transition or experiencing a dry season, be encouraged! You are fulfilling God’s desire for your life when you just do the next right thing….the thing right in front of you in an attitude of love and with gratitude. These verses tell us that this is the “greatest commandment” and “God’s will for us.” I have found over the last couple of days that it takes a number of times of recommitting my attitude to the Lord each day to do this well AND that it really simplifies things in my mind that previously seemed complicated.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.
Matthew 22:37-39

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment or if you’d like to be part of an empowering, solution-focused recovery community, you can request to be added to my closed Facebook group, Rock and Recovery with Heidi Le. Here’s how:

1) Find my administrative account profile on Facebook here
2) Send a friend request AND
3) Send an inbox message, “add me.”
When I receive your message, you will be added to the group. You’ll have access to recovery content, great discussion, and a supportive community of like-minded friends. Click the link above to be directed to the Heidi Le Tribe administrative account OR search “Heidi Le Tribe” on Facebook.

May your recovery be rockin’ today!
~Heidi

For more info, including my new book and album
Confessions of the Broken, visit:
HeidiLeMusic.com

Twelve Step Tuesday: Step Eleven

twelve step tuesday4Hi Friends, just a quick thought on Twelve Step Tuesday about Step Eleven today . . .

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

When I make prayer, meditation, and connecting with God a daily priority and practice, before I launch into the tasks of my day, everything else falls into place. When I pray only for the knowledge of HIS will and the power (and willingness) to carry it out, everything that would otherwise seem complicated is suddenly simplified. I love this step and have found that, practiced daily, it is life changing!

If you’d like to be part of an empowering, solution-focused recovery community, you can request to be added to my closed Facebook group, Rock and Recovery with Heidi Le. Here’s how:

1) Find my administrative account profile on Facebook here
2) Send a friend request AND
3) Send an inbox message, “add me.”
When I receive your message, you will be added to the group. You’ll have access to recovery content, great discussion, and a supportive community of like-minded friends. Click the link above to be directed to the Heidi Le Tribe administrative account OR search “Heidi Le Tribe” on Facebook.

May your recovery be rockin’ today!
~Heidi

For more info, including my new book and album
Confessions of the Broken, visit:
HeidiLeMusic.com

Meditation Monday: Emotional Freedom

meditation monday cropped

It’s Meditation Monday – a reminder that we always have the choice to quiet our minds and observe our thoughts, feelings, fears, and auto-responses. Doing this brings us to a place of empowered peace. Rather than mindlessly reacting, we can observe our experience and respond. I’m reading a book right now called Emotional Freedom and thought this was awesome – a little blurb on how meditation physically affects brain scans, for the better! If this interests you, the author gives some VERY simple ways to begin meditating, and meditation is just one tool she offers to help us on the journey toward emotional freedom.

Meditation quiets your mind and reprograms your biology (aside from its spiritual and energetic advantages, which you’ll discover). The miracle of brain imaging has done wonders to demystify meditation, pinpointing cerebral changes responsible for the calm you feel. Most striking, regular meditation has been shown to literally change the brain by promoting growth in a region responsible for integrating thoughts and emotions; this wires us to deal with stress better. I’m happy to report that it also works fast. In just minutes, meditators have shown increased alpha activity, the brain waves indicating relaxation.

You can find Dr. Judith Orloff’s book, Emotional Freedom, on Amazon by clicking the photo below:
Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life by [Orloff, Judith]

If you’d like to be part of an empowering, solution-focused recovery community, you can request to be added to my closed Facebook group, Rock and Recovery with Heidi Le. Here’s how:

1) Find my administrative account profile on Facebook here
2) Send a friend request AND
3) Send an inbox message, “add me.”
When I receive your message, you will be added to the group. You’ll have access to recovery content, great discussion, and a supportive community of like-minded friends. Click the link above to be directed to the Heidi Le Tribe administrative account OR search “Heidi Le Tribe” on Facebook.

May your Monday be meditative and you recovery be rockin’ today!
~Heidi

For more info, including my new book and album
Confessions of the Broken, visit:
HeidiLeMusic.com